Saturday, October 23, 2010

{almost time}

Well, it is only a few days before Benjamin's surgery with the neurosurgeon and to say I am nervous is an understatement ~ more like scared to death.

Never having been through actually surgery with any of my children...has me {very} on the edge...

I KNOW he'll do just fine. I have 100% confidence in our team of doctors at Children's here in DC...

BUT

It STILL doesn't stop me feeling what I am ~ inside.

As to the many who surround me every day think i am doing amazing well (considering everything that has happen so far) but I do have my moments...

AND

When they come...it is extremely hard.

Lucky for me, most of time EVERYTHING hits me is when I am alone at night...after checking in on my precious angels...and I see them sleeping there so peacefully...that I tend to break down...

OR

When I am on my morning walk with Benjamin (and when not in school Benjamin & Annabelle) that it hits me once again and tears start rolling down my cheeks. Thank Heavens for my sunglasses for the kiddos never suspect a thing.

My mom aka GRANDMA is due to arrive on Sunday afternoon. And while all the kiddos are super dooper excited, I know the real reason why she is coming and it is scaring me to death.

So here I am, trying to release some of my emotions ~ here on this blank page (that is now being filled with just words - to many of you)

BUT

To me...THIS is so much more.

And I am truly scared....

{{{I am going to try to keep everyone updated on Benjamin's status and recovery. Seeing how I will NOT be leaving his side until Thursday night when Keith is insisting that he would be staying with Benjamin while I am to go home and be with the girls, I am not sure how much I will be able to get posted ~ but I am sure going to try}}}

9 comments:

Sharon Ankerich said...

Dear Shelly,
I just went through surgery with my little one newly home from China and I know your fear. I am SO praying peace for you. I am confident in the drs and their knowledge and care for Benjamin. Bless you as you wait.
Sharon

Football and Fried Rice said...

Praying for your baby, Shell. And for you. YOU ARE the rock and I know that you are a strong, amazing woman. YOU are exactly what Benjamin and your girls needs right now. I am praying that God will give you a peace and calmness that can only come from Him. Praying for the doctors and the staff that will help heal sweet Benjamin.

Love you,
Sara

Cindy said...

Dear Shell,
Having met your precious Benjamin please know he is so close to our hearts too and our family is praying for him. Praying for a beautiful and quick recovery for him and peace for you. I've been thru many surgeries with my children and it is hard on us moms, I think the fear and worry is so normal. Sending HUGS!
We are praying, thinking of you, and please know we are here if you need us...can you send us your address, we'd love to send something special to Benjamin okay?

mncfi said...

Love and prayers for you Shelly, and your sweet boy. How wonderful that he is with you. His medical needs can be met, and his emotional needs too. That's the true miracle of it all - that he found home.

Bushnell Girls said...

Prayers coming from the west coast, even in Spanish! for you all. Praying for peace for the grown-ups and big sisters, praying for wisdom, skill, and discernment for the surgical team, and praying for God's divine healing to take place so that we can all declare His glory! We love you guys!

Sue said...

We are praying hard for all of you. So very happy that Grandma is here to watch over the girls and give you peace of mind on the homefront. Will hope for an update soon!

joefiona said...

We are starting to send prayers tonight for Benjamin and all of you and for the doctors and nurses and everyone who will take care of him. Hugs and love from WI. Fiona and family

Lindy said...

I have been thinking of you and hoping that all is well. Sending prayers and warm wishes your way.

joefiona said...

I've been checking every day for news! Hope you are all doing well, especially Benjamin! The prayers are still coming. Fiona