All is Well!

YES! All is well here!

Since Benjamin's last surgery (where they did reconstructed work on his bowels and rectum) he is recovering just beautifully! He is still using a colostomy bag but we are praying to have that reversed within the next two months (or so). Only time will tell...

I can not begin to tell you all how this one little boy has rocked my world! Everyone {around me} knows that as well as he himself!

And all those tears I cried, sleepless nights I weathered, all that worrying & wondering (not to mention paper work and waiting)I did just to bring him home, I would do it all over again x's a thousand just to have him as part of our family.

While he still is very tiny for his age (he will be four in October), he has grown! No more 12 month size clothing ~ not for my big boy. He is now wearing 18-24 months size clothing (on the bottom) and up to 2T on top!

(yes Mom I know its all that pasta & home made sauce we are feeding him)

He and Annabelle are still Frick & Frack! You rarely see one without the other and she takes care of him so well. They do almost everything together and have this bond that I just can not explain.

Yes, this little boy has rocked my world...

and I am forever in love...with this little man of mine!

Where do I begin...

So much has happened since my last post...


(at Halloween) Benjamin had his first surgery {spinal} at Children's Hospital in Washington DC and after an almost week's stay at the hospital and a post op follow up with our neurosurgeon, he is doing very well. It is seriously possible that he will require further surgery on his spine in the future, but for now all is good!

While Benjamin was in the hospital recovering, our 4-legged buddy, Honey Bear, who has been with Keith & I since we were dating (14 years ago) past away...He will always be remembered and we are still missing him so very much...(btw ~ he was our first offical adoption at age 2)


We are currently getting ready for Benjamin's next surgery {recto-urethral fistula and part one of his bowel repair} which will take place next week. After his surgery, Benjamin will be placed on a colostomy bag but we do not know how long.


Here at Casa De Leonard, we are also getting ready for the Christmas Season, a New Year's Holiday at Grandma's and our second 2 week vacation in January in Disney World for Francesca's 6th Birthday!

As many of you know, Francesca started Kindergarten this past September and Annabelle started Preschool! Francesca and Annabelle (both) love school and their teachers. Francesca has started an after school program one day a week for singing & dancing as well as joined our local Girl Scout Daisy troop here in Derwood. Annabelle is still my "spicy" little girl who has taken it as your objective to show "guidence' to Benjamin for everything. Those two {A&B} are still our "Frick & Frack" and the best of buds!

and...

(last but not least) Keith and I have realized that "the door" to adoption was NOT locked but only closed and after pulling very hard on that door's handle, it has once again opened for us and we have submitted a new MCC to our agency for the Special Focus Program. While we are not 100% sure if we will get a referral, we are 100% ready to make this party of five a six pack! And what totally sweetened the deal {for us} was when my dear, loving, and amazing girlfriend, Miss Sara from Football & Fried Rice offered to come with me during the travel for our newest addition!!! Seeing how we would have three little ones at home, Keith and I know it would be pretty much impossible for both of us to travel so when I mention my concerns to Miss Sara, she quickly jumped on board 100% willing to help out in any way she can and offered to come with me! How sweet is that!

So as you can see, things have been very busy for us here in DC land! I do have a few more photos I want to share with you all and I hoping that over the next two weeks I can get some up and posted! So please check back for further cuteness!

all is well....

Hi Everyone! I know you all have been wondering how Benjamin is doing after his surgery and so far so good! He did extremely well during the surgery and his stay at Children's but since coming home, we all have been very busy. His next surgery is scheduled for December 14th with an admission on the 13th. This surgery is to correct his fistula and part one of his bowel reconstruction. We are headed back to Disney this coming January 2011 for our annual family vacation and while I was a bit concerned (seeing how he will be on a colostomy bag) our team of doctors once again reassured me that all will be fine and we can go. As for Benjamin, he is doing well. He is still a bit sore from the surgery and he has a 2" stitch up incision on his lower back. He movements are still a bit slow and "favored" but for what he has just been through, what more can we all expect.


THANK YOU everyone for all your thoughts, prayers, emails, phone calls and care packages! We & especially our Benjamin is so truly blessed to have angels like you within our family's circle of life!

{almost time}

Well, it is only a few days before Benjamin's surgery with the neurosurgeon and to say I am nervous is an understatement ~ more like scared to death.

Never having been through actually surgery with any of my children...has me {very} on the edge...

I KNOW he'll do just fine. I have 100% confidence in our team of doctors at Children's here in DC...

BUT

It STILL doesn't stop me feeling what I am ~ inside.

As to the many who surround me every day think i am doing amazing well (considering everything that has happen so far) but I do have my moments...

AND

When they come...it is extremely hard.

Lucky for me, most of time EVERYTHING hits me is when I am alone at night...after checking in on my precious angels...and I see them sleeping there so peacefully...that I tend to break down...

OR

When I am on my morning walk with Benjamin (and when not in school Benjamin & Annabelle) that it hits me once again and tears start rolling down my cheeks. Thank Heavens for my sunglasses for the kiddos never suspect a thing.

My mom aka GRANDMA is due to arrive on Sunday afternoon. And while all the kiddos are super dooper excited, I know the real reason why she is coming and it is scaring me to death.

So here I am, trying to release some of my emotions ~ here on this blank page (that is now being filled with just words - to many of you)

BUT

To me...THIS is so much more.

And I am truly scared....

{{{I am going to try to keep everyone updated on Benjamin's status and recovery. Seeing how I will NOT be leaving his side until Thursday night when Keith is insisting that he would be staying with Benjamin while I am to go home and be with the girls, I am not sure how much I will be able to get posted ~ but I am sure going to try}}}

Happy 3rd Birthday Benjamin ~ October 15, 2010

As you can see (for the many photos displayed below)...

Benjamin truly had a wonderful 3rd birthday celebration!


Nothing like having your own cake to kick off our Friday night party!



Than getting the chance to eat it all...by...yourself!

{I swear I could just eat him up!}

Nothing better ~ right...

Except for celebrating your 3rd birthday with your two favorite little people...

Because of course Annabelle LOVED the cupcakes...

As well as Francesca did...

That I made just for them {seeing how their brother had his very own cake}!

Next it was PRESENT TIME!

And it didn't take Benjamin long to understand the meaning of the word "PRESENTS" (thanks to his two older & wiser sisters)

With a little bit of help from the both of them....

He was able to find what exactly was in that gift bag!

Nothing like a pair of bubble guns and....

And a Thomas The Train book....

To get this PRESENT thing started!

(that were all hand picked by both Annabelle & Francesca)

Next was our gift to him...

What could it be?

Seeing how we have a TON of girlie stuff in our house...we needed something "manly"!

{we couldn't have him playing with purses, high heels, and doll strollers all the time}

So after asking Keith what he thinks we should get him...

Only one BIG YELLOW thing came to mind...

And with a few clicks on my computer and an order with Amazon.com...

We got our little guy the perfect gift!

Just look at that smile...

and oh those little feet...

Benjamin is LOVING his new Big Yellow TONKA Truck!

(as the girls are loving it too!)

That was all on Friday night (the actual night of his birthday)...

Next came Saturday's celebration when Papa and Grandma C showed up...

Bringing a few gifts as well....

And what little boy doesn't LOVE his very own ATV!

Again that smile of his is saying it all!

Per Miss Sara's Request: Spine/Spinal Cord Surgery Date & Time...

Benjamin's neurosurgery (with Children's Hospital and Dr. Keating) is scheduled October 26th at 7:30AM...

We need to be there by 5:30 {that morning}...

As for our little man, he is doing amazingly well (than again he doesn't have a clue what's about to happen)...

As for Keith & me, we are emotionally a wreck but we are coming together {in ways we never imagined} not only for each other but also for Francesca & Annabelle, who do have an understanding on what's been going on and what's about to happen...

Phrase One...

So here we are at Phrase One on this very long journey...

After calling the neurosurgeon at Children's last Monday, we were told that we needed to see Dr Keating as soon as possible. We had our appointment Thursday morning on October 7th.

Three whole days I sat & waited, wondered and WORRIED...

On the day of our appointment, things couldn't have been worse. Annabelle (who was coming with us) was truly "out-of sorts" while Benjamin just wasn't feeling well. Not to mention, I was taking my first solo drive into DC...

Living only 16 miles from the hospital, you would think it would be a short drive in but not here...I left 9:30AM for our 11Am appointment and after 1 hour and 34 minutes of stopping more than driving, we made it to our appointment.

At first sight of Dr Keating after entering into his private office (yes, no appointments were available through the neurosurgery's clinic so our appointment was scheduled during Dr Keating's office time), I was very impressed! He handled both Benjamin and Annabelle with extreme care and was very understanding of our situation.

Dr Keating than let each of our children play with almost everything he had in his office...toys, books and yes - skeletons! Lucky for us, his office had these HUGE ceiling to floor glass windows that over looked the ever so busy Michigan Ave and a near by waterway that both Annabelle and Benjamin were have a great time looking out of (not to mention while enjoying the Fruit Loops I packed up as well).

Anyway, Dr Keating than explained to me what exactly is going on with Benjamin. According to him, Benjamin has a Tethered Spine, an Occult Spinal Dysraphism and some curving in his C disks among other things. As of now, Benjamin is scheduled for surgery on the 26th of October with Dr Keating and his team of neurosurgeons. He will be in the hospital for about 4-5 days. We were told that once the surgery takes place and he is in recovery, he will be placed in a "comatose state" while laying on his stomach for at least 3 days, to help with his healing, pain management, and most importantly so he doesn't move.

Between, myself, Keith, and my mom ~ He will NEVER be left alone during any of his time while at Children's. We are all working together to see that all of our children's needs will be taken care of...seeing how we have two Halloween school parties and parades schedule for that week as well.

Dr Keating also explained to me that once he comes home, I WILL need another set of hands available for he will STILL be recovering and will need 100% of my attention. Grandma has signed on for being those extra set of hands until Thursday (the week following his surgery).

As for the risks, there are many involved...

First off is 40% of paralysis of his legs (while Dr Keating is 100% confident this will not happen he still has to mention this is a risk)...

~ and ~

60% chance of never having normal functions of his bladder, urethra, kidneys, bowel and/or colon. 60%!!!!!

{{{now here is where the real issues begin...and only time will tell if all of THIS is related and/or will be affected}}}

While he kept explaining this 60% chance to me, I was not overly worried (I know I MUST be crazy) BUT seeing as we adopted Benjamin through the special needs/waiting child program as a child with bowel issues, we KNEW this is something that can happen. And we prepared ourselves for this a long time ago...(now this is not to say that I am NOT worried because believe me ~ I AM!)

Dr Keating is also not 100% his very LARGE fistula and his spine/spinal cord issues are related. We DO know his IMPERFORATE ANUS (which he was probably born with and had surgery for it while in China ~ that we were NEVER told about) are related. And that he does has some major issues that are going hand and hand with both diagnoses (his imperforate anus and his spinal issues).

Anyway, so here we are Sunday October 10th ~ ONLY FIVE DAYS AWAY FROM HIS 3RD BIRTHDAY!!!! I can't begin to imagine what this little boy is going to have to go through within the next few weeks. And here we are only on Phrase One of this very long road...

All I can say is finally we are getting some answers and we are moving forward which is all we ever wanted in order to help our son the best way possible.

I must admit, I am exhausted ~ more mentally than anything but I truly am. But I know I must keep moving, learning, praying, and fighting for our son. I can not THANK YOU ALL enough for all the love, support and prayers that you all offered to us during this very emotional & critical time. THANK YOU ~ THANK YOU ~ THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts!

(((I also asked Dr Keating if Benjamin's weight and height issues can be related to his spine/spinal cord issues as well and he told us that as of now, he does not know. We will have to wait and see if things change once he has recovered from the surgery.)))